


Alone at home

by withowlmyheart



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Arrested, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma, Poor Akaashi Keiji, god saves akaashi patience, random stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-14 15:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20603069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withowlmyheart/pseuds/withowlmyheart
Summary: What could happen if you let Kuroo and Bokuto alone at home just half an hour?It's not like they would get arrested... isn't it?





	Alone at home

The idea was simple: two boyfriends moved to their first rental house without their parents and they had to paint it. Yes, the idea was that simple. But it did not mean it was easy. Because we were talking about the dumbass couple who had a YouTube channel to post their gameplays and 99% of the videos were both ex captains talking shit. So, something elementary turned into a complete disaster.

"Half-hour. You two just have to wait for a half-hour. Do you think you could?" Akaashi asked, pointing with his finger the dumbass duo.

Bokuto and Kuroo nodded. The black-haired knew it was probably a lie and when he and Kenma returned to the house they were going to find the kitchen burned or the house without a roof, but if he let them go to buy more paint, it would be worse. The last time they spent all their money into more than twenty different colours. The setter had to argue with the store manager for two hours to have his friends’ money returned.

"Okay, we’ll see you then." He sighed and left the apartment with Kenma, but before he stopped, his hand leaning on the door frame. "Don’t touch anything unless it’s a matter of life and death!"

The two guys threw themselves on the couch intending to see some TV, but the only thing they glanced was an empty an old wall. Akaashi told them not to touch anything, and they thought it would be uncomplicated. However, now they realized maybe it wouldn’t.

"Dude, this is fucking boring," Bokuto complained, his legs on his boyfriend’s. The ex ace of Fukurodani had not much patience. One minute without moving and he was shaking from the need to activate his body.

Kuroo was quieter, but even he found it monotonous. "What if we get something to eat?"

"But Akaashi..." started Bokuto until Kuroo interrupted him.

"Yeah, Akaashi said unless it’s a matter of life and death. But Bo, if we don’t eat, we will die!" Bokuto get up and hit his front with his right hand.

"Of course! Tetsu, you’re a genius!"

"I know, I know," Kuroo smirked, proud of himself.

The kitchen was a mess. The floor was full of unpacking boxes because they hadn’t time enough to open all of them. The two boyfriends rented the apartment three months ago when they discovered that they would go to the same university. Kuroo to study biomedicine while Bokuto chose teaching. He always got well with children (Kuroo often said, because he was one of them) so he decided it was the degree that best fit him. Nobody could object anything. When they messaged the other one telling which university they chose spent more than three hours screaming at each other about how incredible their university life was going to be. Moving preparations took more than they first thought because it was complicated for both of them to pack everything they needed. Especially for Bokuto, who was sure a gigantic owl stuffed animal was essential in his ordinary life. In the end, it was required Akaashi, three months a lot of rubbish bags to set all up.

They found a homely one-floor apartment in Tokyo’s periphery. It took forty minutes to their university, but it was worth it because the house had a beautiful backyard where they could put a volleyball net.

There were too many things over the kitchen floor, and Bokuto realized it the moment he tripped over a baseball bat and fell. Unlucky him because in his fall the wing spiker hit a package which contained everything they need to organize the inauguration party. Dozens of balloons crashed into the floor.

Kuroo’s laugh filled the room while Bokuto was trying to get up, growling because of the sudden pain in his chest. His eyes ran into the balloons and a random idea made him take one and turn to his boyfriend with a smile on his face that revealed nothing good was running across his head.

"Tetsu, I have the master idea." A golden spark appeared in Bokuto’s orbs and Kuroo approached him, now curious. "What if we get the bat and hit some paint balloons?"

The idea made Kuroo smirked and he bent to take the sports material he used in his previous house as a security measure, not because he did baseball. No, Kuroo never liked it. But now the sport did not sound bad. Well, how could it sound boring with paint balloons? They were paint balloons!

However, he sighed when Akaashi’s voice sounded like an echo in his voice. "I fucking love your idea, but Akaashi told us not to touch anything. And I’m pretty sure throwing paint balloons couldn’t be considered as not to touch anything."

Surprisingly Bokuto still was smiling. He had thought about it. Bokuto pointed the door connected to the backyard and the realization hit Kuroo when he understood what was into his boyfriends’ mind. "You’re a dumbass genius! Take the balloons and the bat, I will go and take the paint!" Kuroo shouted as he walked out of the room.

Ten minutes and the chaotic duo were standing out the apartment with a pail. Inside there were about thirty balloons full of the remaining paint. Kuroo had the brilliant idea of closing the backyard’s door so this way they wouldn’t be able to throw any balloon to the apartment but the exterior wall.

"Balloon!" exclaimed Bokuto and he fired it to his boyfriend.

Everything had to be said: Bokuto was an excellent wing spiker and volleyball player. He could spike the ball wherever he wanted. But his marksmanship failed obstreperously when the balloon went more to the right than it was supposed to and it exploded, covering Kuroo’s body with red paint.

"Horned Owl Bastard!" shouted the ex-captain of the Nekoma, trying to clean his eyes with his forearm. "Again! This time, try not to convert me into a Pollock’s painting!"

And they do it again. This time the balloon hit Kuroo’s bat properly and flew across the sky. The paint blew up and the backyard’s white wall turned into a crime scene because of the red paint. "Gosh, that was amazing! My turn! My turn!" Bokuto sang, jumping energetically. After seeing his boyfriend staining the wall he was jealous.

Bokuto threw and the white and red wall was hit by a green explosion. The two guys kept rotating. Every time they used the bat, a new colour was added to the wall until it seemed the work of art of a modernist artist instead of a backyard wall. The random throws ended up in a competition between them where the winner would be the one who was able to hit… anything. Their competition did not have much sense, but it was still fun for them.

But everything fell apart when Bokuto threw again. This time the paint balloon crossed the air and broke the neighbour’s window. The roar made them froze. They exchanged a couple of glances and started running to the backyard door, but it was closed.

"Bo, please tell me you hadn’t closed the door from the inside," Kuroo begged.

"I hadn’t closed the door from the inside," told Bokuto, but Kuroo facepalmed himself.

"Now don’t lie to me."

However, Bokuto did not talk and the black-haired knew exactly what happened. Well, they were locked in their backyard without the keys, a lot of paint balloons, a bat, waiting for their neighbour to discover the disaster they did to his window. It could be worse, Kuroo thought. If Akaashi returned and saw both of them outside, with all the painting on his body and the wall… A river of sweat crossed the middle blocker’s back.

"We’ve to enter, no matter how." Kuroo looked around trying to find something they could use to enter. An open window, a back door they have not seen before. But there was nothing except for a rock. He thought they could use it to break the window, but he was sure it would not fix anything.

"Bo, what the fuck are you doing?" asked, perplexed when he saw his boyfriend stripping.

"I’m stripping," Bokuto said and Kuroo rolled his eyes. Sometimes his partner could be so oblivious.

"Yeah, I know. I mean, why are you doing it?" Despite his voice tone, he was not complaining. He could never get tired of seeing his boyfriend without his shirt. Or, even better, naked. Bokuto’s body was a god's present. Although he knew it was not a good idea to do it in a backyard where all his neighbours could see them.

"If we use our clothes to make a rope we can hook it there," the golden-eyed pointed the balcony on the second floor. "And later we can climb the rope. See, the window there isn’t closed." Sometimes Bokuto was oblivious, yes, but other times he could be the smartest person in the room. Or maybe Kuroo was too scared of Akaashi to think of what could be wrong.

"Bo, you’re so brilliant I could kiss you right now," Kuroo said, catching his boyfriend’s cheek with his hands. They broke the distance, his lips almost touching. Bokuto’s sweet fragrance captivating Kuroo’s senses. "But if we don’t move our perfect asses, Akaashi will kick them."

The mention of the setter achieved his goal because was Bokuto who took a step back, pale, and took off his pants. Kuroo copied him and suddenly the two of them were naked except his underwear. The wing spiker tried to tie the clothes, but his finger got trapped so many times that Kuroo got fed up and ended doing himself. While Kuroo was working on it, Bokuto looked for something they could use as a hook. When he founded the middle blocker added it to the rope and threw it to the balcony. The first attempt was a complete fail. The second got closer. The third somehow managed to hit Bokuto’s front. The man fell to the ground and Kuroo spent more than twenty minutes laughing at him before helping his boyfriend. The forth was the good try. The hook got pinned into the balcony.

"Holy shit, I could be a professional. Bo, do you think this is an Olympic sport?" Kuroo asked, proud of himself.

"Maybe the Thieflimpians. We can ask Akaashi when he returns."

The only thought of explaining to the black-haired why they were thinking about it made the two of them respond in unison: "Or maybe we can just live with the doubt."

However, their wonderful idea turned out to be another disaster when the tie broke and Bokuto, the one who started climbing first, fell into the ground.

"Fuck, the shirt is broken," said Kuroo, with the piece of clothing in his hands. "Okay, we have to think another way to get in."

Bokuto lifted the bat and pointed to the window. "We could cover the disaster with curtains."

Kuroo knew it was one of their worst ideas, but at that point, he had anything else to do so, he was the one who took the bat and hit the window. The glass burst into pieces. However, they made a way to enter the house.

"We need the curtains like, hm, now!" The dark-haired ran around the living room, opening every box he saw. But the curtains did not appear. He did not see the paint prints he was leaving with every step he did. The room seemed a kid’s park. "Bo, where the fuck are the curtains?"

Kuroo’s steps guided him to his boyfriend, but the paint made him slip. He got time only to grab the first thing at his reach. And it was Bokuto. The two fell, the golden-eyed, taking with him a can of paint.

"We’re fucked up," mumbled Kuroo with his boyfriend over him.

A shrill laugh escaped Bokuto’s lips and he rested his forehead on Kuroo’s. "Yeah. God, Akaashi is gonna kill us. Like, u know, really killed."

Kuroo rolled his eyes, but a smile revealed his authentic feelings. Yes, the ex setter would kill them and explain the chaotic couple why the hell they could not live alone in a house. Whoever… _this is funny_.

"What do you want to do in your last moments alive?"

A smirk appeared on Bokuto’s lips, and the ex ace traced a kissing path down the middle blocker's neck. "You know what I want..."

Of course, he did. The hands of Kuroo slipped stroke Bokuto’s defined abs. The room suddenly became a mix of Bokuto’s kisses and Kuroo’s soft moans. The dark-haired slid the paint around the body of the ex-captain like he was a modern painting. They did not care more about the mess, at that point the only thing on their minds was the excitement. None of them wore clothes, only their underwear, and soon they felt a familiar pressure there. Bokuto sat astride over Kuroo, ready to continue, but the sound of the bell interrupts them.

The golden-eyed tried to stand up but Kuroo’s hand stopped him. "Don’t. You have something to do first before facing Akaashi." Bokuto smiled and kissed his boyfriend’s lips one more time before finally went to the door.

"Destiny is calling us. We have to face owl our fears."

"Bad puns won’t make it easier, you, stupid!" growled the ex Nekoma’s captain.

However, when Bokuto opened the door, Akaashi was not in front of him. Instead, a woman was looking at him. In her hands, she had a pair of wives. The policewoman sighed and forced Bokuto to stand against the wall. "You two are arrested."

The noise archived Kuroo to went out just to see his boyfriend with the wives, half-naked, and his body covered with paint. He understood: someone would see them in the backyard, probably breaking the window and thought they were trying to rob the house. Kuroo would facepalm himself if he was not being arrested at this moment.

✦─────────── • ✧

The mobile phone rang the same time Akaashi extracted the apartment’s keys. He sighed and let Kenma carry the bags with the paint they were in charge to buy. When he saw the screen an unknown number was in it. He hesitated before answering it.

"Who’s this," the ex setter asked, confused.

"Akaashi, it’s Kuroo," said from the other side of the line. The taller one laughed and Akaashi did not need anything else to know somewhat happened. "I have something really funny to tell you. You’re going to laugh."

Akaashi opened the door. The bags Kenma was carrying fell.

"Can you tell me, in small words, what do you understand for _something really funny_?"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading. I hope you'd enjoyed it.
> 
> You can find me on Twitter: @stanfukurodani.


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